Answering the mail, most of which is from schoolchildren working on class projects, can be a little mundane. Most of the letters are uninspired, and reading them evokes an image in my mind of a frustrated child diligently copying the text written on the chalkboard. Today, I received something more interesting.
This letter was in two parts on the same page. The top half was a typical information request, but just below that was a dotted line and a note, "P.S. Please ignore everything below the dotted line. (Saving on stamps.)" Below that, "Do not read until January 20, 2089!!!"
Of course, I saw this as an invitation to read below the dotted line. It took a couple readings to understand the intent of the message. The second half of the letter was a letter to the future, where the writer's descendants had pulled a coup of the United States government. Here is the text:
What a wonderful day this is for us. I am bursting with pride just thinking about it. Although I wish it was my poor Milton taking the oath, President Longfellow Crimpy has a nice ring to it. I also like the sound of Vice President Wigglesworth Crimpy.
I wish my Bichon and I could be there to enjoy the inauguration with you. Unfortunately, we're dead. But we're safely stored in the cryogenic chamber, and await the day when our diseases can be cured. (Not sure why the chamber has a window).
I have more advice for you. Since there will be some controversy surrounding your first executive order - turning Theodore Roosevelt National Park into Byron Crimpy Private Park - I would suggest waiting a few days before putting up the barbed wire.
Milton: I want you to know that you're still my favorite grandson. You'll be a great Secretary of the Interior. And Spenser: Thank God for diplomatic immunity.
Please inform your descendants that your note to them will be in the file cabinet in our office. If your descendants manage to simultaneously become President, Vice President, and Secretary of the Interior, please keep in mind that the power to create National Parks and change their name and designation is in the U.S. Congress. Plan for a Congressional takeover. I hope they choose to govern with the foresight, democratic appeal, and commitment to natural resources conservation that Theodore Roosevelt did."